Saturday, August 13, 2011

entry sedih

hurm hello guys. sorry sgt2. aq da lme x coret2 kt blog aq ni. muram je kn blog aq ni? xde pape y menarik pn. hurm. rindu2 :( hope korg still lg follower aq. hehe. kali ni cm nk share ng korg sume psl ape da jd ng aq sepanjang berbulan2 ni. (hmpir 4bulan kn aq xo9?) hurmm.
firstly, after hbs sem 4 haritu dlm bulan 5. aq ade practical kt tnb (JANAMANJUNG). seriously, xsgke dpt LI kt stu. aq kne wt LI kt stu selame 10 minggu. so, mcm2 aq dpt. belaja sane sni, knl jenis org cmtu cmni, hadap bnd y xsuke. ishh mcm2 la. tp y plg aq suke, aq suke ikot tech. hahaha sane sni dy bawak aq. dr situ aq belaja mcm2 psl letrik. cm nmpk la ape aq blaja. boleh apply. cmtu laa. tp tu la. kne naek moto ng dorg. nk naek beskal taya pancit. so.. nk jalan kaki? mmg sampai lmbt la. tuptup, keje da settle. hmm. tp serious skg aq rindu dorg2. lg2 dak2 trainee same ng aq. hadoii. korg! aq rindu korg tahap gile da ni. hehe da lame xmereng pagi2 ng korg. :( sobsobsob


tp, dlm aq happy2 ni, aq dpt masalah sgt besa. macam2. mule ng relationship aq. hmmm. samapi skg, ati aq berdarah. aq xtau kenape n xsgke sampai cmni skli hidup aq. ramai org ckp, aq cmni sb aq terlampau sayang seikhlas hati aq kt org tu. tp nk wt cmne, org tu xreti nk appreciate aq. ape y aq da wt, aq jage n fhm dy, trime dy seadanye. tp ade dy kesah? hmm. bermule ng pergaduhan n slh fhm siket. then, trs melarat sampai gadoh besa. ungkit mengungkit bermule. alasan demi alasan mule timbul. ego masing2 naek. keras ati. keras kepale. belang sume da tunjuk. :( cm bom tggu nk meletop je sume.
tp pd 19jun2011. sume terlerai ng cmtu je. redha je ape y berlaku. even ati xdpt trime. tp cube. 20jun, sepatutnye tarikh tu tarikh keramat (genap 2thn 5bulan kami bersame), kami da xde hbgn ape2 da :( :( :(sedih sgt. ati xdpt trime sume ni!!! makan minum kesihatan sume da xbetul. ox pn gile. muke pucat lesi je dtg LI. penah sekali pengsan :( aq xsgke aq leh selemah ni. hmm hari demi hari aq rase kosong gile. da xrase ape tu kebahagiaan. honestly, aq rase kehilangan dy sgt2. kami cm tergantung. berpisah sb xsehaluan? mmg xdpt terime. lau xsehaluan, knpe boleh stay sampai 2thn? :( hopefully, dpt hidup ng dy balek nt. tp ape kn daye, he already fallin love with other girl. sad gile wei...!! :( menitik je air mate aq ni. haihh. dieza! kau jgn nanges!!! kau nanges sedang kn dy happy ng pompan tu!! huh! aq kuat!!! tp mmg dr lua aq kuat, dlm?? hati aq?? hmmm :( tuhan je y tau.
lepas 4 hari aq rase cmtu, aq try bersenam. aq try happy kn diri aq. aq maen futsal. ng izin dy, aq maen tp pale ox aq kelaen. pk dy je. aq bygkn mcm2. aq bygkn dy dtg la tu la. gelak2 ng aq. teman aq kt court tu... hmm :( n that is the bad n memories day. aq MASUK wad!


n ramai xcaye aq masuk wad! haha aq pn xcaye. tp tu la 1st time in memories aq masuk wad. gara2 PENGSAN - BOLA KENA MATE. bengkak + lebam ohh bijik mate aq. lau xtuam, mmg biru sebelah mate. hurmm y wt aq terharu, dy dtg tgk aq. pergh meleleh lg air mate aq. cm dy sggp dtg ge sdgkn aq da ckp xpyh dtg. aq da xpenting dlm hidup dy. aq rase cm aq berharap lg kt dy :( tp dy just aggp aq cm adk dy je?? WHAT THE HE**! shit gile aq ni. org da xnk kt aq, nk terhegeh2 lg wtpe??! hmm
y wt aq rase kehilangan is time besday dy (29jun2011). hmm :( :( lg la aq melalak. aq tggu dy wt free call. UNTUK  aq sorg. tp? TAKKK! :( :( :( dieza smpai bile kau nk harapkn dy balek kt kau balek??!! em lau dy bace bnd ni, aq xtau nk ckp ape. tp serious aq xde tmpt nk luah perasaan. aq xtipu.
makin lame. aq makin benci dy wt aq cmtu. tp kate org lg benci lg syg. YES! its true!!! aq xtau ape da jd ng aq. aq kenal ng ramai boy. aq kenal sane sni. kua ng boy sane sni. tp tu la, aq da xdpt rase feel happy. aq tau dy sorg je leh wt aq happy. its hurt!!!!!! aq hidup ng bace msj2 dy y dlu. + janji2 dy bg kt aq. damn! sume tu wt aq menangis tiap2 malam. 
dy tetap msj aq cm bese. tp aq da kurang layan. aq nk pegi jaoh dr hidup dy. aq xtau n xfhm ng diri dy skg. kawan2 dy ckp, dy maen2 ng pompan tu. tp dy ckp, dy da terikat ng pompan tu. then, ape dy nk dr aq??? aq xfhm!!! jgn wt aq keliru ng hidup aq?! sedih aq tanggung sume ni sorg2. sedangkan dy happy ng org lain. :( aq da xde sape2 wei. ko tlg la fhm. aq bkn jenis y senang ubah hati aq. aq bkn org y kuat utk terime kesedihan. 

masuk bulan 7~ aq kenal ng sorg BROTHER NI. xsampai sebulan kitorg kenal. he's good looking. nice. kind. lovely. but older 3yrs. bro ni senior kt utem. degree thn 4. boleh tahan la aq ng dy. not bad. tp tu laa. aq xready lg nk berdepan ng LOVE. syg aq kt ex masih ade. masih kuat. :( tp dy tahu ke y aq still syg dy? smpai skg? (14ogos2011) mesti x? sb aq da lyn dy teruk gile. tp dy ade mtk jumpe aq. aq buat bingai. tp honestly, aq rindu dy, aq nk jumpe dy. tp aq xnk jumpe dy as friend! nk jumpe dy as fiance! SUMPAH RINDU DIE sgtsgtsgt. 


sampai bro ni pn tahu aq ade hati lg kt dy. bro ni aq aggp abg aq je. xlebeh. tp aq ade tipu ex aq y aq da ad bf. (sorry. with this way, i really need to be strong) kwn2 aq senang tgk aq happy tp? aq bkn happy pn. hati aq hmmmmm. :( korg, lau korg syg kt org tu, jgn la korg jd cm aq. jage dy leklok. respect him. n 1morethg, trust. penting tu weh. plg x, tlg setie. serious, lau korg love org tu ng hbs eklas, korg akn rase kebahagiaan tu. tp bile da cm aq, korg akn rase ape tu kehilangan. :( kpd lelaki2 sekalian. if korg rase nk menduakan pasangan korg tu, korg pk dlu baek buruk nye. nt da kne nt nyesal xsuda.
em okay. life skg semakin baek ng hidup sorg2. xpenat nk jage hati sape2. aq cume focus pd stdy aq. aq tau aq nk dean list sem ni n sem depan. insyaAllah. aq hope sgt aq xde nk gado2 ng sape2. xde org kacau life aq. n aq doakan sape2 y da wt slh ng aq tu bahagia. xkire sape org tu. 

k la korg. mate aq pn da naek bengkak da ni :( sorry. aq bkn nk tunjuk kesedihan aq kt sni. tp aq xde tmpt luah.

to HIM : iloveyouforever <3! imsorry but this is best for us :( thanks sayang cz being my first love. <3